Umpiring Sucks

I was watching the twenty 20 world cup today... simply amazing match had great fun... my throat is hoarse from shouting for every wicket that fell on either side.

Simon toufel did a good job, but as we where celebrating I saw him silently walk and realized man that job sucks big time!! Think about it?

An umpire cant dance or jump even if his favorite side wins.. he just keeps a poker face on

No one likes him..when he does a good job people dont say good thing about him.. but when he goofs up man the media tears him...

Bowlers cuss at him for every appeal they turn down, batsmen hate him for every edge/lbw

Even worse Imagining standing under sun for 5 days or 8 hours on a one-day and maintaining concentration!! one slip up and ur blamed....

Pretty sad job..would never take it even if offered...

So I say have mercy and leave all decision making to third umpire at least the game is error free, but with uncertainty gone its no fun either......

So I say give "let ye at least give thanks"

naveed

Taxxed

The Indian government is thinking of implementing a one time tax payment for televisions in India, looks like they are running out of thins to tax!!. We have to pay road tax when there are hardly any roads, water tax when there is no water and so on.... so one Einstein has decided to tax the **** hahahah just read below what I came across

THE LUND TAX

The only thing the INDIAN GOVT has not yet taxed is the LUND. This is due to the fact that:

40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.

20% of the time it's pissed off.

30% of the time it's hard up.

25% of the time it is being abused and battered at the hands of miscreants.

10% of the time it is in a stinking hole from which it shows no hurry in coming out.

On top of all this, it has two wrinkled and shrivelled-up old dependants and they are both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 2007, all lunds will be taxed according to size. This will be henceforth be known as the 'DING DONG TAX'. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 Inches = Luxury Tax 50,000.00 Rs.

8 to 10 inches = Pole Tax 30,000.00 Rs.

6 to 8 inches = Privilege Tax 15,000.00 Rs.

4 to 6 inches = Garibi Hatao Relief Fund Tax 5,000.00 Rs.

PLEASE NOTE:
1. Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a Tax rebate.
2. Also they can be surgically removed at the discretion of the Tax authorities for medical study.
3. The govt reserves the right to remove, possess and preserve any unique, deformed, diseased or damaged specimens for R&D purposes.
4. All tax inspectors will be female and will use all legal means neccessary to maximise returns in the National Interest.
5. They will carry micrometers and precision laser equipment for accurate measurements.
6. In case of disputes the inspectors' reports are taken as final.
7. In case of the super sizes, repeated inspections may be neccessary and will be carried out at inspectors' discretion.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST A DISCOUNT FOR CIRCUMCISION.

* Males exceeding 12 inches must file for Capital Gains.

Sincerely,

Lavdaram Dhakeldas

Min. Of Finance, Tax division, Lund Bhavan, Delhi.



Bloody funny

Plight of Africa

Man this is hilarious
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/6274590.stm

police is heroes as they caught 2 drug traffickers with 634 kg, the remaining of 2.5 metric tons of cocaine that was moved out of a military base, could not be pursued!!? because they did not have petrol in their cars. Also they (cops) have not got salaries for 3 months yet they caught the traffickers, wow hahahah

man ROLF the whole story is so damn funny read it...

in the end the shit is found floating on an abandoned sail boat in atlantic, very sad...

so much to think and so few a words

ahhhh when ever I want to blog i get too many ideas, lets write on this and lets write on that, but eventually I end up writing on nothing.... may be its because of an over speeding mind that does not wait enough for my hands hahahah... what ever

hmmmm lack of motivation i say, b*****ds where are thy comments.....

okay....

Man its been long since I blogged, phew just wrote 3 and I gave up how sad..... may be I do not have stupid things to write about like my friend Tariq,(http://redneckdesi.wordpress.com) hahahah , what crap.....

Anywayz what does it matter if no one reads and the ones who do, dont leave a comment. bhooo hooo hoooo

plsssss write back

adios

starring AL ZAWAHRI !!

Since when did evil men start touting republican policies!!!!!!!! what the....

yes I am talking of (not the Celeb tapes :-)) tapes, first there is wanted so and s,o saying down with usa, blah blah blah. But its not what they say, its when these tapes come out that is intriguing!!. The senate says no to war funding, bush says our armed forces need money so they can have more abu gharibs, civil wars, massacres, dying children, and OIL.

But why would al zawahri say exactly what bush wants him to say, that democrats are undermining usa, think about it, why should he try to turn the public opinion around?? After all what is happening is certainly good according to him!!

Hmm the tapes? are all these guyz already in custody? Imagine its 8 am in morning

GI: Hey wake up dog
AZ: Huh ?
GI: get dressed wear a turban, we gonna make a video
GI 2: Here is your script, you better learn it well
AZ: why? ohhh okay okay , I fear you (ahh hooh ohhhh)
GI: Thats why dog

AZ goes on camera reads the script, tape sent to al jazeera or some network...... News all over the place, News says he is in egypt... I say he is in Guantanamo bay
OR asshole AZ has lost it

Whatever happens I pray that there is peace and blessing's in IRAQ for what they have gone through... For none of us can fathom what has been upon them these four years......May the blood shed by them drown their sorrows!!

peace

Delhi heights

Man What a Movie!!!!!!! deserves an Oscar. grrrrrrrrrrrr. SOB who directed the movie should be shot. first of all what a waste of precious 2 hours...

Kinda woke up to a sleepy Sunday, was spending time with friends who where boozing and talking interesting shit, started poker but in 10 mins everyone was out boozing in the lawn waking up neighbours with XXX talk.... who cares!! 3 middle easter guyz walk by its 1 am and they go like "where u guyz from" we yell back india , so he says " yenna vishesham" which sounded like 'yenavis' then we get it, our mallu boozer mr. sandeep is hyper, yells' its my language'!! we all go shakeeellllllllaaaaaa..... may be this guy was humping a mallu sweety goin ' ahhhh yenna vishesham'

so slept late woke up late, was hungry as hell ate bloody leaves(aka salad) in the night so made some upma and sambar, (yes mr karma is a self proclaimed cook) anyway had a good meal and thats when I made the bloody mistake of downloading this crap called "Delhi heights"

its 1pm thought will watch it.... its this story where a guy (jimmy shergill) proposes to this babe (neha dhupia) in the most crappiest manner possible and they get married in the first 5 minutes of the movie, what hey this is hindi movie thats the ending!!!

should have read the warning signs then, but alas I continue watching, 3 guyz who look and behave like GAYZ man I seriously thought thay are !! tight clothes colored hair blowing kisses at each other , wtf!! is goin on.. okay they are gay

but hey, movie progresses and they are not gay, i swear no way!! 'they are gay' anyway husband wife jagda, both high profile executives in companies and jimmy belives neha stole his buisness idea, mr.ompuri drops in and keeps telling "oye putar yes sab hota hai mian biwi me hota hai" aur muje cold drinks me discount chaiye (jimmy goes fu) so ompuri ..... man what a waste of talent

I have no idea now whether this movie is about the people who live in the flat called Delhi heights or about jimmy his wife and his flirting friend, who is being a kabab me haddi.

Anywayz this pointless story goes on husband wife get back, hey wait a minute what about the madhavan contract, what about the 3 gays sob's what about ompuris daughter


SOBBBBBBBBB I want my money back, no my time back... my roomie vikas is like man lets get to the library I need to study

So here am in the library, no work really decided to blog.... yes karam goes around hahahaha